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By Kat GiantisWaist Mismanagement: Let's be clear. This is not about Jessica Simpson's waistline. Her body looks perfectly fine. More than fine, actually. It has a decadently va-va-voomy thing going on. No, the starlet's figure is not the problem. The problem is that she chose to crowbar her figure into what we feel with some degree of certainty are the plug-ugliest jeans on the planet, nay, universe. These high-waisted, mega-pocketed abominations are a crime against all pants, and to dismiss them merely as mom jeans would be an insult to outmoded mothers the world over. Simpson's self-sabotaging choice could have something to do with the fact that she's performing at a chili cook-off (admit it, you'd just give up, too). But letting your belted denim get overly familiar with your sternum doesn't help anyone. Jess is petite, and petite women must be extra diligent about finding clothes that fit and flatter. That means no Urkel rejects and definitely no double-banded, leopard-print Peg Bundy belts with built-in muffin-topping capabilities. Besides, it's not as if she doesn't know any better. This is a woman with her own clothing line, for crying out loud. She's even donned hitched-up jeans before, with similarly gruesome results, although come to think of it, two months after stepping out in those rib-cinching, silhouette-destroying trousers, she landed the cover of Us Weekly with her exclusive secret to losing "20 pounds in two months!" Maybe all of Jessica's missteps, fashion and otherwise, are part of a master plan to keep her in the spotlight, which would actually make her some sort of -- ow, our brain is suddenly all hurt-y -- evil genius

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Most breast lift procedures can reshape sagging breasts without serious side effects and complications. Asymmetrical breasts are one of the most common problems that occur when undergoing this surgery, and in most cases, it is a minor problem. If the asymmetry is extreme however, it can be revised through another surgery. The risks involved with surgically lifting the breasts while performing enhancement breast surgery (inserting saline implants and especially silicone gel implants) have received a lot of negative attention. However, it is highly unlikely that a woman can get breast cancer solely because of gel or saline breast implants. The greatest benefit of this procedure is the transformation of droopy breasts into youthful and firmer-looking breasts.<br /><br />A lift is commonly performed at the same time as breast augmentation surgery to increase breast size and firmness. This may appeal most to women who have lost breast size after pregnancy. Nursing and pregnancy often result in skin that is stretched and therefore decreased in volume. It is advised to postpone having a lift with breast augmentation implants if you are planning on getting pregnant in the future, as a pregnancy will likely cause further stretching.<br /><br />This surgery takes between one to three hours, depending on whether augmentation is performed as well. A common surgical approach involves an incision along the natural contour of the breast, where excess skin is removed. The areola and nipple are repositioned and the skin surrounding the areola is brought together, reshaping the breast. There are usually stitches around the areola and the lower breast area. In some cases, your surgeon may be able to perform a minimal incision. This is called a scar-less mastopexy and is done entirely through an incision around the areola.<br /><br />What should you expect after surgery? After a breast lift, your stitches will be covered with gauze and a surgical bra or an elastic bandage will hold the breasts in place. Your breasts will be swollen, bruised and you may have some mild pain or discomfort for a few days. Your doctor will usually prescribe pain medication. After a few days, a support bra will replace the bandages or surgical bra. It is important to wear the bra at all times during your recovery period.<br /><br />Though it is not a simple operation, a lift is generally safe when performed by a board certified plastic surgeon. Though occasionally performed in a hospital, mastopexy is often done in an outpatient facility, under general anesthesia. If the incision is small, local anesthesia can be used with a sedative. This means you will be awake, though relaxed, and should feel only minimal discomfort.<br /><br />To make sure you heal properly after undergoing a breast lift, plan on staying home for at least a week before returning to work and other activities. Avoiding heavy lifting is imperative, especially anything over your head, for three to four weeks. Strenuous sports and exercise should also be avoided for at least a month.<br /><br />Jeremy Larson is a foremost expert in the natural <a href="http://www.remedyforacidreflux.com" target='_blank'>acid reflux wedge</a>. He has had extensive experience and conducted countless experiments in finding natural remedy for acid reflux. He is also a highly acclaimed writer in the medical field.