I saw her again, she who used to freeze my thought, yup... I saw her again, caught a glimpse of her gold hair, but sought refuge from her emerald look.... hmm... but only for a while (temptation is a bitch....). So When i looked directly into her eyes for some seconds, over some tables, people, prejudice and fear, no chilling wind went through my spine... funny, i went back to reality and a sip of beer. I realized, it is not her what I long: that she as a person and my feelings for her have faded away in time.
What I long for is the sometimes vivid, and sometimes faded
idea
of my time with her, the idea of something long gone... nothing but a mere thought that traps me in the past... that gold haired and emerald eyed idea, and the dark black and red backstabbing feeling I get when I recall how it became an idea... is what holds me back in time and stands in front of the future, as she was not my last, but she is my first, my best and my worst, my only idea, the one that needs to be ripped off but won't.
But no cosmic girl will come to recue. who will transmit on my frequency? I can only wait for someone to shake me again.
Comments